DEAR EXES

By @Christinas_Homework
DEAR EXES

ex's can haunt you for the rest of your life. Hows how they haunted me, a silly silly girl.

Chapter 1

THANK YOU NEXT

Boyfriend A 

As early as I can remember.

You were the first boy I laid eyes on

And started to understand, 

What does love mean?

This so called relationship

It didn’t need, it didn’t want, or expect.

It didn’t because it was 3rd grade.

This new found love was 

A reserved spot at lunch

This was a saved swing on the playground

It wasn’t hand holding, hugging, or even kissing

It was to say…

“You are my person”

~ ~ ~

Thank you A

Thank you for showing me that you 

Can show this amount of love without a label

Thank you for showing me what friendship looks like

Now I know what to look for 

~ ~ ~

Boyfriend B

B wasn’t great to be honest.

And to be honest I caught this fifth graders eye

Cause i was the new girl.

New girl in a new school .

Scared girl, scary school.

B was new, B felt safe.

B was different, B was nice.

He told me compliments,

He told me love was forever

B would force the love down my throat.

I was still playing with barbies

I didn’t want to be removed from the stage of childhood I was at. 

Boyfriend B just started playing with his barbie

And made himself Ken.

B taught me from a young age how boys looked at girls 

I was taught how girls were notches of the beholders belt. 

I was taught that was okay.

~ ~ ~

Thank you B

Thank you for teaching me what boys thought of girls. 

~ ~ ~

Boyfriend C  

Wow. 

This reminds me of A..

But a reformed and refined version.

I got all of A’s benefits but now,

It feels like I have a real boyfriend!

A boyfriend as my best friend too!

How cool is that? 

C and I had fantastic conversations

And we learned things a out each other 

That I didn’t even know 

I could learn about people. 

He was so much fun to laugh with. 

~ ~ ~

Thank you C

Thank you for teaching me to let go in the healthiest way.

~ ~ ~

Boyfriend D

I really wish we stayed friends. 

I say this with no regrets now, 

Not even guilt.

This was breaking, this was a new

Confusion. 

I learned many things.

One, parents are not stupid.

Two, kissing isn’t the greatest achievement you’ll experience. 

Three, people who are closest to you are the ones to hurt you. 

Four, intimacy can ruin a friendship

Five, most promises from boys are meaningless

Six, boys will say, do, beg, and promise anything to tighten down that notch on that belt.

You hurt me, even after the breakup, for years. 

~ ~ ~

Thank you D

Thank you for giving me the greatest heartbreak, I returned stronger ????

~ ~ ~

BOYFRIEND E

Track, video games, humor.

So much in common

Hang out together

Laugh together

Feeling like one together

So like what all people do

When they feel this way,

I jumped straight into a relationship. 

As friends we were confident,

As partners we were timid. 

I’m not sure why. 

Months later, you moved away

Right before freshman year. 

We stayed together,

Of course.

Come February of freshman year,

I found out through my own

Mom and dad

That you cheated on me. 

Congrats, 

You tightened your belt two notches at the same time. 

~ ~ ~

Thank You E

Thank you for letting me put everything into a relationship and letting me know that YOU lost me. Not the other way around. 

~ ~ ~

Boyfriend F

(F for failure)

You. F. 

You are the reason

I created many new ways

To hate myself. 

You were never. 

Never in love with me.

Just with the idea of me. 

You. F. 

You liked the way I looked 

The way I looked in my cheer skirt. 

But never held me.

You. F.

You loved to talk

But yelled at me when I would struggle 

To hold eye contact!

That’s not my fault you know?

That is just me, 

That is how I talk to everyone

Talk to everyone, 

You hated me talking to other people.

New flash i’m not your toy.

News flash, 

You’re not as charming and

As caring

Or as loving as you portrayed in

The first few months. 

Bravo F, you’re so smart.

Congrats F, you’re a successful, strong man. 

Hurrah for F, you have a trophy girlfriend. 

You had 

So

Much

Control over me. 

Didn’t 

Love 

Myself 

Anymore. 

You, F. Sucked away 

Every reason I admired

About myself. 

You, F. Made it nearly

Impossible to think

Of anyone but 

You, F. 

~ ~ ~

Thank You F

Thank you F for taking away 6 months of my life to ridicule me, embarrass me, harass me. I still suffer. 

~ ~ ~

End   

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