Tired of the Concealed Truth: Let It Out
It’s that first kiss, that first touch of bare skin, the first taste of raw honey that seals our fate. We can cry about broken hearts, the agony of rejection, all the pain we’ve had to endure, but we can never deny the reality of the physicality derived from such pure primal pleasure, never.
Love and fear sometimes coexist. The answer is found in who wins. My silence before came as a fearful fool. It’s broken now, because ‘I love you.’
They think they see through the prison that they call home. I see them all around me, their eyes with tinted seals, a one way mirror. Unescapable, improbable, impossible. How they think they can live in this cage. Nothing but an observer of a wild illusion. Life is what holds them rooted to a false reality.
The world is losing gravity, but no one can escape. We’re hurtling on our petri dish, in a gel that seals our fate; Gravitating towards black holes; They’re closer than you think. Our world has lost some gravity. We need to plant our feet, but charnel fires and greenhouse gas have hastened our retreat. Migrating birds lose sense of time, confused by the lights. The morning dove coos at night, the nightingale at dawn; We’re like new turtles muddling, under lost starlight. We must grasp the gravity of burning, burning light.
The tide glides in like silk to my skin and I long to veil my body with the sensation. Stretch out, face down, and let it pull me to it’s ground. But I am a coward and watch as the water recedes. “Please, wait for me”.
I am captured by society. I am coerced into making a change. Forced into acting normal. Forced into changing my personality, just to fit in. I want to be different but I’m captured by this fast paced world, where being different means being an outcast. I will fight my captors, defeat the norm, play a different tune. Become someone not changed by society. Become not captured.
Walk on the tight rope of life and watch the world crumble below you. I’m the girl that will do two wrongs before she ever does a right. Forever with chipped fingernails and untamable hair. But I never let the courage that I carry like a back pack rest handedly at my side. I wear my unconditional love like a sleeve and I’ll pick the wrong guy 9 times out of ten but, I always bounce back. And I know myself a little too well or maybe not at all, and my obsession with the stars wavers on unhealthy. And I love the way the moon looks in the morning. And I fake happiness like black jack players biggest gamble, and I ramble and I’m great at awkward moments like a 6th graders first open mouth kiss. I cry a little too often but you won’t find me judging your poor choices because, I’ve made them too. Like 5000 knives my words can unravel you. But I try to place pressure on the tiny hurts because sometimes that’s the only way I know I’m alive. I identify with my Aries traits, swimming from happy to miserable in 3 seconds flat, walking on glass steps filled with cracks falling back into the back of the water that I once swam in when my heart was drowning under attack because once again I fell back. And I probably admire you but would never say it because, rejection is a game I rarely ever play with.
And I’m never satisfied with ordinary because this world holds way to much beauty for ordinary to be trusted. And when I laugh I really mean it and when I cry I mean that too. I hate being late and the feeling of being left behind. And I surprise myself with internal motivation like running in knee deep water or lifting 500 lbs. But I always miss the people that mean the most and almost never have good timing. But when the end is near, when all the songs have been sung, when all my dreams have been reached, when all my failures have been exposed; I will always always always stand arms outstretched waiting to embrace life’s possibility cause that’s not just the tight rope I walk on, that’s just me.
The thoughts of being different, unique with words, best amongst equals. The thought of being the light amidst the dark, invading all chasms, shining forth. Tall, yet bend when the wind blows. Cold, yet melt with emotion. Finding the key for an abstruse lock, ominous thoughts, the ticking clock that goes tick tock or maybe not. Extracting secrets, keeping them secure. Protecting what’s hidden, just to assure. Translating and decoding your heart’s encryptions. All in an attempt to make me your decision.
They were children tasting sugar for the first time, without all the artificial layers. The raw sweetness making them gasp and shiver, anticipating for more. Turning them into wild animals, ravaging its meal. Showing their true identities, buried in these colors. I am not a virgin, I have not been stripped of my innocence. I have been stripped and teased and pleasured. I want to climb inside your body, move around in your skin, grasp and kiss your body, sending shivers deeper than within. Two bodies joined in unison, penetrating heat melt us from the outside in. Sensual movements you finish twice, before I ever really begin.
You try to drown yourself in music, forget all your sorrows. Choke down your tears, keep your chin up and face your fears. Your hands hides the tears dropping on the unblossomed dandelions on your last walk. You don’t want this to be a farewell, so you turn up the music til your ears bleed. But at least you can’t hear your own thoughts. At least you cannot hear the voices in your head, telling you, you are a disgrace to the family. That you are not worthy of living. And you can’t do anything but be the songless bird in a golden cage. Yet you want to scream and yell and curse at the world you were born in. But instead you put your earphones in and listen to tunes. Trying to drown everything in a melody that once had you swoon. You’re trying to walk through fire but, you still feel it; How it’s biting your skin, leaving you bruised. You’re trying to inhale shards of glass; Yet you can still feel them cutting your throat, making you choke on your own blood. But all of this goes unnoticed after the words “I am okay, just tired.” YOU ARE TIRED?
I WOULD BE TOO.