Holy Mother Of Triangles
I know that everyone thinks that I suck. You can say it’s a trope of mine. The thing is though, I’ve never been caught. No matter how many times I hear the police sirens, there always to late and they never catch me. SO PLEASE, let me give you some tips from the worst killer in LA.
- Every time you commit murder you need to wear a different perfume you amatuers. I’m tired of watching forensic files and all you lovely ladies getting caught because your cheap, off brand, Dior Poison Girl Perfume stanks up every house you step foot in.
- Wear a human hair wig, y’all. It makes you less recognisable, and, if a hair falls out, it’s definitely not yours. You might get an innocent live ruined, but hey, gotta sacrifice some stuff for murder.
- If you wear a human hair wig, make sure you get it from another country so that way, it’s harder to track. Also, plan way ahead so that way you can buy it at least a couple months before. Plus, there’ll be more people above you on the list so, whoever’s looking for you has to go through a larger group of people to find you. And lastly for wigs, never show the wig to anyone else, and burn it within the next few days so no one will ever find it.
- Wear shoes that don’t fit you or two shoes of different sizes and use gloves if you have to touch anything for fingerprint purposes.
- Don’t kill your enemy unless you want to be a suspect. You have to pull a long con. Gain their trust. Become friends, best friends. That way you wont be as high on the list of suspects.
I have been using these tips since I was thirteen years old and I’m twenty now and it was never gotten me caught. I’m at a bar right now and I think that if I decide to kill anybody tonight it will have to be with somebody’s help because I’m tired and don’t have time to care much at the moment.