I knew what I did was wrong, yet I couldn’t find it in me to care.
I loved him, with all of who I was, and for that I signed our death sentence. And now that he’s gone, I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I was a born German, he a Jew, this bit of information I knew when we met. He bore the star whilst I bore a soldier’s badge.
I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off him, he was being pushed around in the crowd, his beautiful face scrunching up in pain as his delicate skin scraped across the gravel.
I was knocked out of my own thoughts as I saw a large, booted foot come into contact with his small stomach and ran at them yelling. As I walked up to him, he curled into himself further and I felt guilty, I am the cause for his fear.
“I apologize greatly if I have frightened you.” His head cautiously arose from where it had been buried beneath his hands. I gave him a soft smile and he gave me a small smile in response.
“What is your name?” In a small, timid voice he answered, “Avi.” “Avi.” I repeated back to him. I loved the way his name rolled off my tongue, like honey dripping from a honeycomb. “Well Avi, I’m Aksel.”
I held my hand out for him and he slowly reached out and grasped it. I helped him off the ground and wrapped my coat around his shivering body. “Here, let me help you.” I shivered slightly at the cold, but then I looked back at Avi and decided he was worth a little frostbite.
Suddenly, the drums sounded and I immediately stood at attention. I stood there rigidly, I knew what that sound meant, they were rounding up Jews and sending them away. My Avi along with them.
I stole a glance at him and time seemed to slow as our eyes connected and we stood still as boulders. My gaze was cut off by the large silhouette of a commander coming up to Avi and roughly pulling him along the streets. I hadn’t known it then, but it wouldn’t be the last time I saw my love.
When the war ended, I searched day and night for Avi, yet finding nothing, as I was beginning to end my search, I had found my closure. I found closure in the form of a neatly trimmed gravestone engraved with the star of his people.
In loving memory of our youngest son, Avi Abramov, he will be greatly missed.
I stared at that grave every day, I guess I was hoping that one day I would see him again. Finally, the day came about when I did see my little love. He glowed like the sun and his smile was blinding. He held out his hand and I took it, he led me through a garden and sat down with me in a bed of flowers. “I do not blame you for the tragedies your people have created, I forgive you.”
My honey-eyed angel led me to the edge, I very well knew what would come next, but I wasn’t afraid of succumbing to the sweet sensation of death. I smiled at him and he smiled back, this is where we shall be together forever, I thought to myself as I felt my spirit lifting out of my body and looking down at the hollowed shell of what I once was. And so it was, I died sitting at my love’s grave.