Beautiful Hands

Beautiful Hands

As I woke today…like every other day since you took your leave of us

My mind replays the last moments I spent with you

Before they took you away forever

I remember watching my devoted mother

The love of your life

Draped over your body

Her head resting upon your finally, quiet, chest

Not listening for your heartbeat because she knew it wouldn’t

Just wishing with her entire being that it would

Her sobs came hard and loud and fast 

Tremors, then earthquakes of pain

Wracking her precious tiny frame

The watching of it shredding my heart

With each new wave of sorrow that washed over her

But as she surrendered to her pain, the gut wrenching sobs slowly subsided

To the quiet weeping that knew your struggle was finally over

Then, as she stands, I see myself step forward

And embrace her from behind, holding her tight

For a minute we both look on in silence at your motionless body

A body no longer fighting for its next breath

No longer waiting for the next volley of spasms

You are finally at peace

And new tears erupt

Tears of joy

Mom gently peels my hands from hers

And steps aside so I can have a moment with you

I drink you in with my eyes

Knowing this will be the last time I see you

The first thing I gaze upon are your beautiful blue eyes

Though they are at half-mast and no longer hold the spark of life

They are still beautiful to me

Then I take in your frame

Nothing more than skin over bone

In this way you are hardly recognizable to me

But then my eyes come to rest upon your hands…

Those beautiful, beautiful hands

And the vault of memories in my heart swings open

As one-by-one they come tumbling out

Some of them my own

Some shared from stories told around the family table

But no less real to me  

Beautiful hands that placed a ring on my mother’s finger

The day you said “I do” sixty-eight years ago

Beautiful hands that helped her to raise five beautiful children

Beautiful hands that painted a three story home from charcoal grey to snow white

To give us that fairy tale white house with the little white fence

Beautiful hands that joined with your families hands to bless the food as we said grace

Beautiful hands that toiled at a job that you didn’t like but

You did it for the love of us all

Beautiful hands that played catch and built kites…big ones!

Hands that took us fishing

Taught us how to thread a worm onto a hook

And take our catch off and clean it

Beautiful hands that at the age of fifteen

Surpassed your guitar teacher in ability and knowledge

Those long beautiful fingers that merged with the wood

To create the most mesmerizing music

Beautiful hands that turned that gift into a career of teaching…performance…ministry.  

Beautiful hands that held mine when I was feeling alone or afraid

Beautiful hands that delivered mine to another on my wedding day

Those beautiful hands that have touched so many lives through random acts of kindness…

I want you to know Dad that those same people will go on

Touching new lives through your legacy of love

May all of us whose lives have been touched or changed by your example

Also die with beautiful hands.

Copyright © 2018 by Katherine Brown. All Rights Reserved.