Bad Poetry

It Eats Me

i get up slowly

after so and so is over

1 2 3

someone always waits by the doorway

i’m still in the back

my arms move slowly

my legs move slowly

and i get up slowly

1 2 3

i haven’t showered

in five days

4 5 6

my hair famously collects oil

my underwear are the same as yesterday’s

i don’t care

and i haven’t showered in five days

4 5 6

i eat with my hands, my forks, my spoons and knives

i eat so quickly now, everything must go

7 8 9

i feel the heaviness spreading

in my face,

in my stomach

in my legs 

and i eat with my hands, my forks, my spoons and knives

very quickly now

7 8 9

i have a new best friend, and her name is Sleep

she meets with me after school or work as soon as i lie in bed

10 11 12

She plays with my hair, touches my cheek

i slip away so easily

and She’s so warm and She’s so lovely and She’s always there for me

and Sleep is my new best friend,

she really is

10 11 12

i feel pain and it’s in my body and it’s not intentional this time

it’s a dull ache that’s always pressing against me, kisses my bones

12 13 14

no one has ever made love to me or ****** me as hard

as this dull ache

i sit in the front of the car for five minutes until

it doesn’t hurt to get out

and there’s no protection from this dull ache

when it makes love to me or ***** me hard

**** quick and doesn’t open the car door for me

i feel pain and it’s in my body and it’s not intentional this time

12 13 14

i don’t want to call them crying spells

because that makes it sound poetic

15 16 17

but they come and go

and I’m always sitting and it’s not poetic

because it feels like the first day of school, like the morning of a sleepover,

 like a hotel room from vacation

it feels like homesick and cough drops

and even though they are

 i don’t want to call them crying spells

15 16 17

I don’t know what it’s like to get paper cuts any more

Out of love

18

my throat is scratchy, words don’t come out

my eyes are unfocused, words don’t digest

and I don’t know what it’s like to get paper cuts any more

out of love

 18

i can’t remember yesterday, last week

last month, last year

19

my time is a picasso

i don’t understand i don’t see i don’t remember

i just know

and i can’t remember yesterday, last week

last month, last year

19