At War With Myself

At War With Myself

I’m at war with myself

it’s a constant never ending battle

part of me feels worthless

unwanted

useless

but part of me wants to be happy

to keep smiling and laughing

like I used to

Part of me wants to just give up

To just cry all the time

More than I already do

My two sides are at a constant war

“You suck go away”

“they like you don’t worry its okay”

“you’re so ugly; one good hair day won’t save you”

“they like you, don’t listen”

I can’t explain it

because it is so constant

and its making my head hurt

I cant relate to anyone

I just want it to stop

I’m not getting better; only worse

My bad side is taking over my mind

I’m not as happy as I was

I hate being alone

because that means alone with my thoughts

and usually that’s worse than being alone with a killer

when I’m alone it ends in tears and thoughts I cant get rid of

its the time for my dark side to shine

but when I’m with people

I can’t help but think they don’t like me

they hate me

they’re faking it

its like I can’t escape

myself

I wish it could end

I’m tired of feeling like this

I’m tired of being at war with myself

I’m tired of not having anyone to talk to

I’m just tired of all of it

Of being at war with myself