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Asking for it

By @MeaningfulMee

Asking for it

The light above her head flickered on and off, on and off.

A constant electrical moan that never settled.

A brightness would light up the senior bathroom, 

then a darkness that seemed more fitting would take hold.

She stood there. 

Blank.

Her left Dubarry tapping against the chipped cream tiles. 

Her eyes staring into the mirror at her reflection.

But she could barely recognise it.

Her body was no longer her own.

It was a weapon.

A weapon used against her.

Her right hands grasped onto the rim of the sink,

The one furthest from the door.

Her left one held her phone against her ear.

A voice spoke from it. 

A voice that was soft and gentle.

It didn’t quite match the tone of the conversations.

“Lola, he is pleading not guilty.”

Lola didn’t know what she expected, she knew this was going to happen. 

It was just confirmed.

“He is saying you dressed old that night. He’s saying you dressed provocatively.”

The light finally caved in.

The constant moan stopped and the light went out.

For good this time around.

“He’s saying you were asking for it”

Lola stood there.

A single tear fell from her eye and ran down her cheek.

Her expression stayed the same. 

Blank.

“Lola?”

She opened her mouth but didn’t, couldn’t make a sound. 

“Lola?”

She pulled the phone away from her ear,

Her thumb pressed against the screen.

Ending the call.

She stood there in the dark.

Letting the tear hit the tiles and let another follow its course.

She took a deep breath, fixed her make up.

Then she walked slowly towards the door.

Her hand grasped hold of the cold metal bar pulling it towards her.

She couldn’t be bothered to smile. 

After all, that might land her in bed.

There was no light in her pale blue eyes.

There was nothing left.

She placed her bag on her back and walked slowly down the corridor.

A group of lads were leaning against the radiator. 

They stared at her as she walked past. 

Their eyes admitted low.

She tried not to notice or act as if she didn’t.

“Did you see the ass on her?”

Everyone acted as if it were a whisper but it was as loud as the shrill of a landing shell.

Lola turned around.

She looked at him.

She knew exactly which one it was.

It gets easier over time.

“Excuse me”

She looked him dead in the eyes. 

Fire in her voice.

Pure red anger.

“Just giving you a compliment sweetheart.”

A smug sat on his face. He spoke in an obnoxious tone and he was clearly proud of it.

“Shut it, sweetheart.”

A crowd began to form.

“Don’t talk to me like that!”

He raised his voice. 

Trying to be dominant.

“Just returning the favour, baby.”

Her voice was loud and clear.

He was getting frustrated now.

“Can’t you take a compliant?”

He looked at her like she was just a piece of meat.

“Can’t you keep it shut?”

She replied, her fists clenched.

“You can’t expect me to, not when you dress like that.”

He broke eye contact.

Focusing on his friends.

“Look at the length of her skirt!”

He looked her up and down.

“Look at the size of her *******

He looked her in the eyes once again.

“Your asking for it”

She took her bag off her shoulders tossing it onto the floor.

“Say it again!”

She walked towards him.

“I dare you!”

She grabbed hold of him and pinned him to the brick wall behind him.

“Say it again!”

She shook him.

“Go on say it again!”

He smiled and tried to struggle his way out of her grasp.

He was all talk though.

He couldn’t stop her.

A mix of rage, adrenal and underestimation is a force not to mess with.

She pressed her face up against his.

In a fearless voice with a smug on her face, she repeated.

“Say it again!”

Two other students pulled her off of him.

One a girl with a red fan bun.

She pulled against her.

“He’s not worth it.”

She said. 

The other was a boy, one of his friends.

“Some psycho ***** you are!”

He said, disgust in his tone.

Not disgusted with her fighting, disgusted with her winning. 

Finally, 

they managed to rip her off of him.

He stood up.

Walked up to her face and whispered to her.

“We just throw yourself onto lads, don’t ya?”

He looked into her eyes.

“Dirty little slut.”

She shook her head.

Her fists clenched by her sides.

She looked at him.

Losing all sense of reality, letting rage take off.

She punched him right in the nose.

He fell to the floor.

Her mind reentered the room.

She looked around at everyone,

Everyone was staring at her.

Like she was crazy.

She looked down at him.

His nose was bleeding, it was probably broken.

She had finally taken the smug off of his face.

A deep voice shouted her name.

“Lola Harris! My office now!”

She turned around.

The principal stood behind her.

She had really ****** it up this time.

She knew that much.

It was three o’clock when she got out of the office.

She walked along the footpath beside her dad. 

He looked at her.

“Another suspension!”

His voice was full of rage.

“Do you know how many times that is now? Do you know how many times I’ve had to leave work early to pick you up cos you’ve had another hissy fit?”

“It’s not like that”

Lola’s voice was quiet.

“It’s exactly what it’s like Lola!”

“No”

She spoke a little louder,

“No, it’s not!”

“Shut it will ya!”

He yelled at her.

He unlocked the car.

“I could lose my job over this! Ya know that? What are we gonna do then, hey?”

He opened the door on the driver’s side.

“And I’m telling you this now if I lose my job cos of you. You can say goodbye to the idea of going to uni!”

“That’s not fair!”

Lola glared at him.

“Wake up Lola, life isn’t fair!”

He looked at her. 

“It’ll be your own fault anyway!”

He continued.

“Keep going the way you’re going and you’ll be asking for it!”

“It’s not my fault! None of this is my ******* fault!”

She shouted at him.

“It is Lola! This is all your fault!”

“But it’s not”

She lowered her voice.

“Listen, please.”

She begged.

“I don’t want to hear any of it.”

“But dad…”

Before she could finish he cut in.

“I don’t care”

He answered as cold as ice. 

As distant as justice.

He got into the car.

Lola stood there for a moment, her hand on the door handle.

“No one cares”

She whispered to herself.

Then she ran.

Out of the car park, out of the school, out of sight.

She walked into an alleyway.

Rubbing the tears off her face with the sleeve of her jumper.

She crushed needles with every step and the air was filled with the scent of miseducation and lost souls.

Her hands were shaking.

She pulled a zip lock bag out of her pocket, along with a spoon and a lighter.

She picked an old needle off of the ground and she started.

“Out of sight, might as well be out my mind”

She whispered.

“What did they expect me to do? They were asking for this.”

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