April 2018 Prompt: You’re ok. Breathe. Just breathe. Open your eyes. Come back. It’s ok. It’s over now. You’re ok. Wake up. Please wake up. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. I love you so much. Come back.
April 2018 Word: Mimosa
You’re ok. Breathe. Just breathe. Open your eyes. Come back. It’s ok. It’s over now. You’re ok. Wake up. Please wake up. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. I love you so much. Come back.
Jael told me I am an adrenaline junkie. That is such harsh language. Besides, I’m not even sure we have adrenaline. I am a warrior. It’s what I was created to be. It’s not my fault I got stuck babysitting a human.
One of my favorite past times is free falling. I tuck my wings in tight and plummet. The wind tears at my feathers and burns my skin. Once, I didn’t pull up. Just because. The few bloody scrapes were nothing compared to Jael’s lecture. “We can’t die”, I said. “Stop being a mother hen.” He informed me that I was not sent to earth to amuse myself. I was there for her. As if I could forget.
She was so frail. And I’m pretty sure something was wrong with her. She fell down a lot. Like walking across a empty room. I tried to imagine her as an angel. With wings. Indestructible. But it was impossible. I have a very good imagination but she was too human.
When she would go to bed, I would wish I could leave, go fly around the city. “How much trouble can she get into while sleeping?” I’d groan to Jael. He said humans sometimes fall out of bed. I returned, growling, to my watch.
The first time I talked to her was the morning after she actually had fallen out of bed. I stuck around to apologize which I thought was a generous thing for me to do. Granted, it was kind of my fault. She had woken up and was so startled by seeing me that she dove right over the edge and smashed her head of the ground. I put her back in bed, sealed her head wound and cleaned her up. When she woke, her black curls like a halo around her head, she accepted my presence without question. I suppose it might have had something to do with the concussion she had suffered. Or the Nyquil she had taken before going to sleep. Either way, she seemed glad to know me.
She told me that she had always been in love with wings. She showed me scrapbooks she had compiled, of pictures of winged creatures. Pegasus, dragons, faeries. But mostly, Angels.
And she was fascinated by my wings. She asked questions about them endlessly. She wanted to know if we had to learn to fly, like birds did. She wanted to know of we got tired while flying. She said over and over that she wished, more than anything, that she could experience flying just once.
She found reasons to touch my wings, too. She would run her had over one and say she was smoothing an out of place feather. Or that there had been a piece of lint stuck to one. I think she really just liked the glittery powder my wings left on her skin.
“Why aren’t you blond?” She asked me on day.
I laughed. “Why would you say that?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Aren’t you supposed to be blond haired and blue eyed?”
I shook my head. “We are as multi-colored as humans. More, even.”
“Good”, she replied. “I was starting to worry you were fallen. You know, being that you are all dark and broody and stuff.”
I rolled my eyes, pretending to exasperation with her foolishness. But to be honest, I was beginning to enjoy spending time with her. I mean, it was hard not to. She thought I was the most wonderous creature she had ever dreamed of meeting. That’s pretty hard to resist.
Also, she was adorable. Like a puppy. With her enormous dark eyes and her fuzzy curls. Even her clumsiness started being cute. I’d never known anyone quite like her.
She began begging me to take her flying. It all started with an offhand comment I had made. Something about seeing the city from above, the exhilaration of diving toward the ocean. And she latched onto it.
“It’s not allowed.” I told her.
Pleeeeeeeeeze!” She whined. I held out for months.
But then she lost her job and she came home so dejected. I tried to distract her. I told her stories about me and my friends, the lives we had lived. But, for once, she wasn’t interested. She went to the window, staring out at the full moon.
“I always ruin things”, she mumbled, dashing a tear off her cheek.
It hurt me to see her like that. Walking over, I stood behind her at the window. “It’s a beautiful night”, I said. She huffed, swiping at more tears. “Want to go out there?” She shook her head. “Want to fly to the moon?” I whispered in her ear.
She spun to face me, taking my face in her hands. “Are you serious? Do not mess with me about this tonight.”
I wrapped my arms around her. “Of course I am serious. I wouldn’t tease you about it.” Truth be told, seeing her cry had made me feel more than a little reckless. I had known there would be consequences, but I had thought it would be worth it.
She jumped up and down, squealing her excitement. “I’ll go get changed”, and she ran off to her room.
She peeked her head out a few minutes later. “Don’t judge me”, she said, sheepishly, and stepped out dressed in gold leggings and a flowy, black top. And wings. Tiny, compared with real wings. Made from wire and gauze and faux feathers.
“I said don’t judge! I wanted to get the full experience!” She put her hands on her hips and stamped her foot.
I took her hand and led her to the balcony. “Are you ready?” I asked and when she nodded, I picked her up. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and down we dove.
I expected her to scream. To bury her face, to beg me to stop. But instead she laughed and her eyes shone brighter than the moon.
We flew toward the ocean, her twisting her head to take in all the sights. “I thought you said you were gonna fly me to the moon”, she said, grinning.
“Tonight”, I said, “your wish is my command. I started to climb, up and up, the wind biting us as we went. She nuzzled her face into my neck. “Are you too cold?” I asked.
She shook her head. “You smell like mimosas.” She squirmed in my arms, trying to see back down.
“Lucy.” I warned. She twisted again.
“Lucy!” I screamed, diving after her.
I tried. But my wings were like drags and she fell faster.
She hit the beach and I felt the impact in my heart. I landed, stumbling to my knees, and scooped her into my arms.
“You’re ok.” I whispered, trying to heal her, wiping the blood away from her nose. “Breathe. Just breathe.” I smoothed her curls back and brushed my lips over her forehead. “Open your eyes. Come back. It’s ok.” I straightened her twisted legs. “It’s over now. You’re ok. Wake up. Please wake up.” I could feel her body growing colder in my arms. A sob broke from me. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. I love you so much. Come back.” I rocked back and forth, cradling her broken body.
I was supposed to protect her. And instead, I was the death of her. For the first time in my existence I understood the phrase ‘a broken heart’. I was in physical pain, worse than anything I had ever experienced. I had grown to love this human, this girl I had started out resenting. And she was gone.
I looked down at her. Her little wire and gauze wings had snapped and were hanging off one arm. I pulled them off of her and laid her down on the sand. I smoothed her clothing and pressed one last kiss to her cheek. “I am so sorry”, I choked, tears pouring down my face.
I would have to go back home, face up to the fact that I had failed my charge, my job. But I needed some time to pull myself together. I started walking down the beach, letting the sound of the ocean shush my pounding blood.
I heard the flap of wings and turned to face Jael. To tell him I needed a day. A hour.
Instead of Jael, I saw the largest pair of wings I had ever seen an angel receive. I dropped to my knees as the angel turned toward me. When I chanced a glance up, I gasped.
Smooth, caramel skin. Enormous, dark eyes, and crazy, corkscrew curls tumbling all over her head.
She grinned down at me, and then, took off into the sky.