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Angelo Grey: The Monster In Me

By @DevonMatthias

Chapter 1: The way I was

I wasn’t always the malevolent being that the media painted me as. I was an innocent child once. I had my entire life ahead of me, or so I thought. My hatred for these pieces of **** started when I was just a feeble child, around six years old. Like any other child, I loved hearing the ice cream truck come down my street. Those were good times, until that fateful encounter with HIM! This one man changed my life. He took my innocence as a child and made me this shell of whom I once was. This man was Chris “The Ice Cream Man” Peters. 

Chris was an American Serial Killer and Kidnapper who targeted children in hopes one was his son, Maxwell “Max” Peters. Chris and his wife, Marissa, had an estranged relationship. She “proved to the court that Chris was an unfit father”, so she was awarded sole custody of Max. I only know this due to the fact, I found it years later after all the **** he put me through. I was lured in by the guise of “free ice cream.” He bound me and gagged me so I couldn’t make a sound. 

All this happened on April 19th, 2004. This date is and always will be ingrained in my head, for a good and a bad reason. The bad is a given, but the good was it was a week after my friend Nicole’s sixth birthday. When I was kidnapped, I gave up all hope. I thought I would never have been able to see my family after that. My family consists of my Mother, Father, and Twin Sister. My mother’s name is Kim. My father’s name is Lucius. My Twin Sister’s name is Audrey. 

Audrey and I were as close as two siblings could be. We were inseparable, until that fateful day. Despite us being twins, I am an hour older than her. Essentially, I’m her older twin brother, so I felt like I should protect us. Right before any of the events that lead up to me being bound and gagged, I was in the house with everyone. Once I heard the music, I yelled to my mom and Audrey and told them that I was running out to go to the ice cream truck. Audrey yelled “No! I want to come too!!” I hurried up and ran out to the truck without her, I wish I would’ve waited. Being the naïve child I was, I rushed out as fast as I could. I walked up to the ice cream truck with my sandwich baggie full of quarters and asked for one of the wrestler ice cream bars. I was obsessed with them. I loved those **** things, I was always trying to get the Triple H bar. He was my favorite WWE wrestler as a kid.

I try not to think about the events of the months following. They bring back all these nightmares. I can’t do this to myself anymore. I need to “grow up and get over it.” I am a man, so I can’t be too “weak” in this social construct of life. Everything happens for a reason. Well, that’s what some people say to me. But, why would me being kidnapped happen? What reason would the world have to do this to me? I was nothing but an innocent child then. 

Nowadays, nobody listens to me about it. Why would they? Who cares about that anymore. None of this truly makes sense, but whenever I think about that day and every subsequent day that followed being locked in that house with that man, while my family was panicking thinking that they would never see me again…I think about how much I wish I could’ve fought back or at least did something to help them find me faster. Then again, how could I know that he would do such a thing. 

I don’t remember much about the trial, except that his wife came and testified that she went and got a divorce the night after her son came and told her that ‘daddy and his friends liked to touch him.’ What a sick freak. I remember making eye contact with him as I spoke. I was about eight years old by the time the trial was finally underway. I remember verbatim what I said to him. I said “What you did to me, it hurt. I am only a kid, you sick freak! What kind of person would do that to a kid, especially a six year old kid?! I was happy, now all I ever get done is sitting in my room crying because I can’t go outside without other kids teasing me about what you did to me! You ruined my life! I hate you!” The sick and twisted smile that freak had on his face after I got done speaking was enough to give me nightmares for another year. 

My mom and dad eventually found me a counsellor/therapist to go to. She specialized in childhood trauma. This lady was extremely nice. She had helped me try to work through this trauma. The lady’s name is Sarah Sinclaire. I would go to her whenever I had any kind of nightmares or just overall anxiety. If I wasn’t able to go to her, I would talk to my sister, Audrey or my best friend, Nicole. Nicole and I were close, like if her skin wasn’t darker than mine, people could think we were siblings because of how close we were. But, I didn’t just see her as a friend. I liked Nicole so much. I always thought her and I would end up together. Audrey and Nicole were also very good friends. We were literally just the three amigos. No matter where one of us was, we were all there. When one of us was bullied, the other two would be there to stand up for the other. 

However, when Nicole was raped, nobody would expect what happened next. She was raped when we were in the seventh grade. The ******* who raped her was the same guy who had constantly bullied me, Alex White. Alex White was a guy who had been held back like three times, I think. He was sixteen. I hated him, but sadly he had put his age to his advantage and went out for sports. He became the school sensation because of his dominance on the football field. I hated him. When Nicole got raped, she had quit coming to school. The one girl who was the strongest support for me was now at her weakest and lowest point. I was the only one who could help her. 

After school, I went to her house. She lived four houses down from me on my left, so I could easily walk there. When I got to her house, her dad opened the door, I asked “Hey Mr. Arcuri, can I come in and talk to Nicole?” He looked at me with his tear stained eyes and said “Yeah, come on in Angelo. Hopefully she will open up for you. She won’t even let me or Synthia in. I wish you the best of luck.” I go on up the spiral staircase up to the second floor to go to her room. When I walk up to the door, I can hear muffled crying. 

I knocked on the door and asked “Nicole, can I come in?” At first, she yelled “LEAVE ME ALONE!!” I said “Nicole, It’s me. Angelo. I am here to help you, and I am not leaving until I help you!” She finally gets up and unlocks her door. She stares at me with these tear stained eyes and raw eyelids. I immediately pulled her into a hug. I say “Don’t worry, I am here for you.” The sun coming through her window illuminated her caramel colored skin. ****, she really is beautiful. Nicole suffered from vitiligo. She gets teased about it so much, but to me, she is perfect the way she is. She reciprocates the hug a little bit tighter than I would’ve thought. She pulls away after a minute and looks me in the eyes. She looks so damaged, so frail. I really want her to be the usual happy-go-lucky self that she used to be. I have no idea how long that could possibly take, but I will make sure never to give up on her. She would never give up on me. 

I ask “Nicole, are you alright?” She replies rather quietly “I don’t think I will ever be alright. We have to see him five days of the week. I don’t think I will ever be able to face him.” I ask “What if something were to happen to him?” She asks “Like what?” I say “What if he were to die or disappear, would that make you feel somewhat better?” She says “Angelo, you don’t have to go down that rabbit hole. Once you would kill him, your thirst for blood would escalate until you can’t quench your thirst for it.” I say “I don’t care Nicole, he hurt you! I won’t let him make your life or mine a living hell anymore!” 

I walk out and go back home. At school the next day, I see him. As always, he is bullying someone. I walk up to him and tell him ***** off of that kid.” He turns to look at me and says “HA! If this isn’t the best thing ever. Grey wants to be next.” He puts the other kid down and tries to grab my shirt.” I take his arm and pull him down. He falls down onto the floor. His goons ask “You ok Alex?” He shakes it off and comes at me again. He just doesn’t know when he is outmatched in wits. As he comes at me, I throw a punch at him and hit him in the throat. He is dazed. His goons come at me asking “Oh, so you’re so tough now; aren’t ya Grey?” I calmly say “No, I just analyzed his flaw and calculated a way to extort his obvious weakness.” They look at me dumbfounded and one of them asks “Where did you learn all those big words?” I jovially answer “I read books. You should try sometime.” They all walk away, leaving their precious ‘king’ defenseless. I look down at him and ask “Will you bother me, or Nicole Arcuri again?” He whispers faintly “Nicole is my girlfriend, she never liked you. It was all an act to get you to make yourself the villain.” I look up and see Mr. Delarentos, our school resource officer and Mr. Syandre, our principal in tow.

Mr. Syandre asks “Angelo, what happened here?” I replied “Alex came at me wanting to cause me and another student harm, so I defended myself and the other student.” He nods, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me one bit. Alex says “He is right. I was bullying another kid and he did come to make me stop and I attacked him.” I look down in disbelief as Alex is sitting up and actually confessing to what he was doing. Was he trying to turn over a new leaf? Was I all wrong about Alex? I say “Mr. Delarentos, you should talk to Nicole Arcuri since you are an actual officer. I believe she wants to make a case against Alex White too. She has an incident that happened rather recently.” He nods to me and asks “Will she need you as a support to tell me about this incident?” I think and reply “Most likely since I went to her house after it happened and tried to cheer her up and even help her find a way to come back to her senses and find who she was.” Mr. Syandre pulls me to the side and asks “What is this incident?” I say “I cannot say. You should ask Nicole.” Mr. Syandre nods and says “Ok, you are a good friend to not air her business out there.”


We ended up going to the conference room in the main office. Mr. Syandre, Mr. Delarentos, Nicole, Me, Mr. and Mrs. Arcuri as well as Mr. and Mrs. White and Alex were all sitting around the table. Mr. Delarentos asked “Nicole, what is your accusation against Alex White?” She looks determined. She says “He raped me.” Mr. and Mrs. White interject “He would never! Our Alex is too much of a nice boy to do such a vile act.” 

Mr. Arcuri, he is a tan skinned man, fair complexion. Overall, he is a nice guy. Mrs. Arcuri, she is a darker skinned woman, Nicole definitely takes after her mother looks wise. I hated Mr. and Mrs. White. They were the self righteous, pompous, arrogant pricks you would want to kill after just meeting them for the first time. They always downplayed your achievements to make theirs seem much more extravagant and they believe their horrid son could do no wrong. Mr. Delerantos asked “When and where did it happen?” Nicole’s glimmer of hope in her eyes was powerful. She answered “It happened here, March 17th, 2011. It was during the 4th period. I went to use the restroom when I felt someone put their hand over my mouth and eyes. All I could smell was dirt and grass on this person, but when I heard his voice…that’s what scared me.” She started shaking. I move my seat over to her and put my hand on her back and try to comfort her. She was the rock for me after my incident, and I intend to fully repay that favor. She stops shaking and clearly says “ He said this ‘Well, let’s see what this little wannabe white ***** has got for me.’ That’s when I felt the zipper on my pants being loosened and then his hands were on me. I tried to scream, but he had put one of his hands back on my mouth. I couldn’t scream. I felt like I was trapped in a void with nothing but him and I.” Alex starts to fidget in his seat, squirming as Nicole had said those details. I can tell he was uncomfortable. He was in shock that someone is actually standing up against him, other than me. 

Mr. Delarentos looks at Mister White and says “Sir, you might want to get a lawyer. Her testimony is pretty ****ing, if I do say so myself. She had the courage to say this in front of her own parents, a school administrator, myself, and you. She isn’t scared to tell this to a jury.” I can see his nervousness. He is definitely in fear that his own son would bring their family name down into the dirt. He says “We will take our chances in court.”

It feels as if years fly by without us really being phased by it, but in the reality of it; it’s been mere months since Nicole made that testimony in the school conference room. She happily took the stand and testified that Alex White had raped her in front of a jury. Some of the jurors couldn’t handle hearing a 14 year old girl relive her rape. They had to be escorted out of the courtroom. At the end of the jury’s deliberation, the verdict was given. Alex White was found guilty of rape in the second degree. He was sentenced to 1 year in a juvenile hall, until his 18th birthday in which he will finish the remainder of the 5 year sentence in a state penitentiary. 

I go up to Nicole after Alex is escorted out of the courtroom. I say “You were very brave up there Nicole. You will make a great speaker. You weren’t even scared one bit.” She kind of shrugged it off. She said “I was only brave because you were there. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of you.” 

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