I can see the tube. It’s getting closer and closer. It stops and I walk onboard. It’s 15:21 so the tube is almost filled. Luckily, I get a seat.
I’m sitting next to a girl. She must be about my age, 14 or 15. She has short blue hair. She looks up from her phone and I quickly look away. I just hope she didn’t notice my gaze. She looks down again and I look at her, just for a second. She has brown rounded glasses, very retro, very cute. Her eyes are a beautiful brown shade, like hot chocolate in the winter. And her long eyelashes only make them more markable. Her ear is decorated with five earrings. They are small black symbols; they look a bit like the symbols from the one of best books ever, Divergent. But only a bit, I can only recognize two of them. Her nose is small, rounded and has a few freckles.
The tube stops. I just hope she’s not getting off. The doors shut again, and the tube starts moving. Her lips are a red shade, a bit dark, but not too dark. More of a natural colour. Like a burgundy or maroon colour. I take a quick look at her phone. She’s editing her Facebook profile. Her name is Emily Serch Milan. I repeat her name, in my head, a couple of times. I look out the window to see how far we’ve come.
We’re only five minutes from Oxford, but I feel like I’ve been sitting here, looking at this girl, for a lot longer. It’s cold for a spring day, so it really surprises me that Emily takes off her jacket. She looks very artistic. Her top is black with strops. They are big but they are not like a mini sleeve. On the front it says something in Spanish; Contigo La Vida Es Magica. I don’t know what it means, but it sounds so fascinating. Maybe she’s Spanish? Well maybe not, I think she’s a bit too pale to be Spanish. She’s wearing blue denim jeans, which are ripped at the knees. And her shoes are white with a golden zipper. They have a checkmark on the side. I’m not so good at brands, but I think her shoes are from Nike. I look out in the open. Not at anything special. I just look at nothing.
I feel a bit embarrassed. I’m starting to like a random girl that’s sitting next to me in some random subway. I’ve been doing this a lot lately. Note to myself: remember two things, one: she’s probably straight, two: your only 14, that means too young to get a girlfriend.
The tube stops. Emily get up from her seat. The doors open and she walks right out. My body is filled with a sad feeling, though I don’t quite know why. It was just a stranger you met in the tube. No met is the wrong word, because she doesn’t know my name, we didn’t speak. But I still feel sad, like I just lost something important. Just a random girl. Just a random girl Natasha, you know that deep inside.
I can’t keep falling in love with random straight girls I see. All these feelings are so overwhelming. I close my eyes. It’s always a good idea for me. I can’t cry in the tube. Especially not over a random tube girl, with beautiful eyes, who looks like an artist. Just a random tube girl, that doesn’t know I know her name. A random tube girl, that’s all she’ll ever be. A random tube girl.