Short story 1
I usually wake up at 6 AM.
Not that i actually wake up at that time. after the ringtone sets off, i hit the snooze button and continue to dream away until another one ring again at 7:15 AM. i have no problem with this routine since i’m the one who create this lazy morning wake up. as of before, i was quite ok to get up, get dress and begin the day. Eventhough there is alot on a 22 years old mind: the future, unstability of life, even the meaning of life itself… i know that kind of sound like a first world problem, since many other people suffer from porverty, wars or natural disasters (2020 has been hell until now) but i still manage and always give out a smile at the end of most days. But lately, i dread that alarm sound, dread the 1 hour of snooze and dread the day ahead of me, but only for 30 minutes, then i am back to the daily grind: go to work, hit the gym, study then go to sleep again. i recently very curious why am i behaving like this only for a small period in the morning? and then back to normal all day (i think). but since yesterday, i cracked the code and finally find out the answer.
When we wake up, our mind is a clean slate, and then the consinousness slowly load up your whole life into our brain for the next 5 seconds. As for myself, as i was rebooting, i remembered: You. Still by my side. But after 5 seconds, i know the realiity, as the ringtone call back to earth, i realize you are not here. I still wake up, do my duties happily, for the growth of myself, to help payback for my family and friends… but missing a core objective which is to do everything for You. Actually i’m more determined than ever to elevate myself, and set out a rather clear path for me to grow and mature. But as of everything slowly get back on track, that feeling in morning still won’t go away. Its like a headache i only have when wake up and re-emmerge in the next day, and for right now, i don’t think i will find a cure for this. Sometimes i don’t think of this as a bad thing, i think of this as a challenge, that when i get through 7:15 AM, i can do everything life throw at me, or even a motivation for me to change myself. i now realize that i don’t want this dreadfulness to go away, but rather to set it as an example, an new alarm for myself to wake up, and step out of my comfort zone, and as for the feeling of this headache, as the tradition goes, just have to man up and confront this, no detour.